- Pick your retaliation targets (It's easy...the two city employees who have EEOC complaints against you)
- Retain the Mayor's criminal defense firm as "Independent Investigator". Wink Wink!
- Ask Special Assistant Wells how to proceed.
- Figure out how to get the targets out while the "investigation" is ongoing. Got it! Administrative Leave!
- Bring them in together, have them meet with a man they have never met and who tells them he knows nothing and treat them like criminals escorting them from the building.
- Oh No! One of the targets asked for a hearing under the employee manual. Quick, change the manual! Whew! Solved.
- Let the new guy tell the press that the investigation has NOTHING TO DO WITH THE CHIEFS.
- Get caught changing the manual after the fact. Go on the radio and call it a "coincidence".
- In the radio interview, state on the record that the reason the Chief's were placed on leave is because of their EEOC complaints. That should look good when I get sued!!
- Now that the targets are on leave, time to drum up some charges. Get Sisson to do it!
- Oh crap! Administrative leave is limited to 10 days in the employee manual. Got it, just ignore the manual and say THIS part of the manual DOESN'T apply, but other parts that I choose DO apply.
- Sisson files his charges. But hey, the major charge is a Battalion Chief's responsibility. Should we put him on leave since its his responsibility. Na...just the Chief's.
- Did Sisson really accuse a Chief of accepting a unrequested complimentary rental car upgrade? The Mayor reimbursed a coach class ticket for PRIVATE JET TRIPS TO THE MASTERS, but a Fire Chief is charged with accepting an unrequested complimentary rental car upgrade. That one MAY be weak Ed!
- On no, we haven't got anything. We need a delay to drum up some new charges. Keep putting the Chief's out on 10 day leaves. 6 times and counting!
- Quick, investigate the child car seat program. It has cash!!
- Dang, that program is administered by the Acting Interim Chief. Should we put him on leave? Na...then we would have to appoint another Battalion Chief as Acting Acting Interim Chief and he is black and we can't have that.
- We will just let the person responsible for the program we are investigating sit in the same room with the cash that we are investigating whether was properly accounted for. Yep!
- Better make sure the Mayor's puppet master is up to speed on the railroad job. Let him go talk to the "Independent Investigator" over at the Mayor's criminal defense lawyers office.
Friday, April 1, 2016
How to run an Investigation...Olson Style
to be continued...
Eric Olson could mess up a bad dream!